Lost

I have no where to go,
It's feels the whole day loses its purpose,
Lifeless as i lay,
As a cold tear drips down my cheek,
My mind as if a blank paper,
Nothing I can seem to think or concentrate,
My sickness worsening, pain becoming more intense,
Yet no one is there to give me comfort today,

Flipping through letters you sent me .. Wishing Time can be rewinded to that time,
Found out that I miss my poems,
I've lost the ability to write about love,
I felt blank without it..

As I lay, thinking about a bad dream
I had dreamt,
Stabbing you with a Malay Keris into your chest,
The moment you lost your breath I screamed, yelled, tear myself,
"I had killed my love, I take it back no more"
I feel my life is ruined without you.

Waiting for you to talk to me feels like years and decades,
I was ashamed of myself,
If I hadn't do anything wrong,
If I had been hardworking enough to change myself for the better,
If...

But what is done is done, is useless to say more ifs,

I hope this period of dry times Will pass very soon..
I hope too..
Never you can bear not to talk to me for a day..
I know that I had done something terrible.
My sorrys is just as useless